United States Senator
With the conventional wisdom being that this will be a race between Patty Murray and Dino Rossi in November, you might be surprised to find out that there are FIFTEEN names on the primary ballot for US Senator. They include Goodspaceguy, Mike the Mover and James Mercer (who may or may not be the guy from The Shins).

Patty Murray is a shoe-in to advance beyond the top-two primary and to the general election, but wouldn't it be funny if Dino Rossi didn't? The man is a 170-pound vulture, whose most recent “occupation” has been cheerleading people to make money off foreclosed homes. Can the “other” Republican on the ballot, Clint Didier, give Rossi a run for second place? Perhaps. You should vote for Murray, but if your pencil just happened to check the box next to Didier's name? Well... that'd be okay too. VOTE PATTY MURRAY (or maybe clint didier).

United States Representative, District 7
Kevin Bacon was in "Sleepers" with Minnie Driver...
who was in "Good Will Hunting" with Ben Affleck...
who was in "Fahrenheit 9/11" with Jim McDermott.
VOTE JIM McDERMOTT.

State Senator
I happened to be in the same bar on Capitol Hill with Ed Murray on November 2, 2004. We were watching election returns. It was early in the evening and some dude on the TV was explaining what it would take for John Kerry to win the election. With his magic wand he turned Pennsylvania, Ohio and Florida "blue". At about this moment Ed Murray looked up at the television. Seeing these huge states colored blue and thinking that they had been called for Kerry, Murray leapt up and started bouncing around the bar like a mad man.

I'd feel differently today if George W. Bush hadn't beaten Kerry that night, but seeing Ed Murray's clueless display of exuberation still pisses me off. Still, he's the best we got. And he rides the bus. VOTE ED MURRAY.

State Representative, Position 1
According to public records Jamie Pedersen's largest single contributor for this election cycle is Wal-Mart. This is no surprise. Jamie Pedersen's professional background is as a mergers and acquisitions attorney. No one "merges and acquires" as well as Wal-Mart.

Pedersen is also a strong supporter of bicyclists and pedestrians, having sponsored a bill legislating safe automobile passing distances for bikers and walkers. Oh, and he's running unopposed. VOTE JAMIE PEDERSEN.

State Representative, Position 2
Earlier this year someone started a Facebook group called "Anyone But Frank Chopp". This is absurd, of course. Anyone? Sarah Palin? Mel Gibson? While I agree with the sentiment that Chopp is an egomaniacal blowhard more interested in elections than legislating, there are certainly worse potential candidates for this office than Frank Chopp. There are also better.

Unfortunately the Facebook group's anti-Chopp sentiment never gained traction and your choices on the primary ballot are the incumbent Speaker and Kim Verde, who is a 60-year-old ski racer. Verde's also a kooky Republican and rightfully has no chance in this election. So your choice is really no choice at all. VOTE CECIL THE CAT.

Prosecuting Attorney
It's pretty remarkable that in a county which voted 70% for Obama in 2008 we have a pro-death penalty Republican as our top lawyer. Perhaps that reflects favorably upon our willingness to work in a bipartisan manner. Or maybe it's because Dan Satterberg plays bass in a classic rock band and lists local legend Jimi Hendrix among his musical influences.

Whatever the reason, one thing is clear: Dan Satterberg has a giant forehead, and I'm sure he's pretty smart. He's running unopposed, which means he will continue to be our liberal county's top lawyer for the next four years. But since Satterberg is a pro-death penalty Republican... VOTE JUDGE REINHOLD.

State Supreme Court Judge, Position 1
Current Supreme Court Justice Jim Johnson is a tool. Johnson is a tool of the Building Industry Association of Washington. Johnson is a tool of big corporations. Johnson is a tool of the NRA. Johnson is a tool of the Republican Party. Jim Johnson is a tool and Jim Johnson must go.

Stan Rumbaugh has the endorsement of every environmental, human rights, labor and progressive political organization in the state of Washington. He works for fair and affordable housing, a clean environment and a woman's right to choose. He also likes to plant trees. Jim Johnson wants to cut them down. VOTE STAN RUMBAUGH.

State Supreme Court Judge, Position 5
In 2006, Supreme Court Justice Barbara Madsen wrote that the Defense of Marriage Act "is constitutional because the legislature was entitled to believe that limiting marriage to opposite-sex couples furthers procreation, essential to survival of the human race, and furthers the well-being of children by encouraging families where children are reared in homes headed by the children's biological parents. Allowing same-sex couples to marry does not, in the legislature's view, further these purposes." Got it? Married couples MUST procreate! Apparently I'm doing it wrong.

Additionally, Madsen's largest cash contributor is the Gun Owners League of Washington, whose goal is to elect "firearms friendly candidates in our state." She is running unopposed, but don't vote for her. VOTE GAVIN NEWSOM.

State Supreme Court Judge, Position 6
Remember a couple of years ago when then-Attorney General Michael Mukasey was speaking at a function and defending the Bush Administration's torture and detention policies, when a guy stood up and yelled "Tyrant! You are a tyrant!"? That guy was Washington Supreme Court Justice Richard B. Sanders. And, yes, that was awesome. Unfortunately that is about the only thing that makes Sanders awesome.

Charlie Wiggins is a former Court of Appeals judge who believes "that courts must be sensitive when the balance of power between litigants is inherently unequal and must insure both sides are heard and treated fairly." Hallelujah. Additionally, Wiggins is endorsed by just about everyone who matters. Sanders is endorsed by The Seattle Times. VOTE CHARLIE WIGGINS.

State Court of Appeals Judge, Division 1, District 1, Position 1
According to public records, two of Michael Spearman's six campaign expenditures were to a company called Blue Utopia. Sounds like a strip club, right? Well it's actually a web hosting company whose goal is to "bring robust technology to Democratic political campaigns." That's not nearly as interesting. Still... VOTE MICHAEL SPEARMAN.

State Court of Appeals Judge, Division 1, District 1, Position 2
C. Kenneth Grosse is running unopposed for this position. Grosse submitted no information for the King County Voter's Guide, has no website and very little information on The Google. He is too much a mystery to earn my vote. VOTE MICHAEL GROSS.